Christian maturity comes through Christ.  When Jesus gets inside you, He changes you to be more like Him.  He went to the Cross.  When He gets inside you, He will take you to the Cross too.

He will call you to deny yourself.  He will ask you to die.  And you won’t like it.  And because you won’t like it, you will fight it.  Blessed is the one who yields his life when it is hard.

But when you yield, you must yield to the true voice of Christ.  Where Christ calls you to deny yourself, do it.  But do not think you will earn favor with God by denying what God has not called you to deny.

Asceticism for its own sake or to show how devout you are is harmful.  It breeds pride.  It is not the mark of Christian maturity.  But self-denial in those areas on which God has placed His finger is essential.  Self-denial for the wrong reasons is a religious show.  It is legalism.  But self-denial from the heart when Jesus speaks is obedience.  It is part of your growth.

Therefore, if Jesus says, “Give sacrificially,” you have to be willing to give, even if it means going without that vacation you wanted.

If Jesus says, “Apologize to your subordinate at work,” you have to apologize, even if it means swallowing your pride.

If Jesus says, “Get up and pray,” you have to get up and pray, even if it means going without sleep.

If Jesus says, “Give me Thursday nights and go serve the needy,” you have to give Him Thursday nights, even if it means saying no to time with your friends.  

If Jesus says, “Give me your music,” give Him your music.  If He says, “Stop spending time at the theater,” stop going to the movies.  If He says, “Football has become your idol,” stop watching football.

Denying yourself can look any of these ways.  When Jesus speaks in this way concerning some aspect of your life, your obedience is not legalism, even if your friends accuse you of such.  Your obedience is obedience.  In fact, in these cases, if you ignored Jesus’ call by reasoning that you had freedom to take a vacation or sleep or see your friends Thursday night or watch football, you would be technically correct.  You would also be disobedient.