Love

A Right Emphasis on the Gifts

Earnestly desire the higher gifts.

And I will show you a still more excellent way. (I Cor 12:20)

Think for a moment about physical handicaps. 

I once had a friend who was a paraplegic and confined to a wheelchair.  The thing he wanted most to do was to walk.  When Jesus asks blind Bartimaeus what he wants, Bartimaeus says, “Rabbi, let me recover my sight” (Mk 10:51).  Even if you’ve never been blind or paralyzed, you understand the sentiment.       

Paul likens spiritual gifts to parts of the body – hands, feet, eyes, ears — and that picture portrays the need for the gifts.  The church needs the gifts as a body needs a leg.  The gifts serve the church, and the absence of those gifts is a handicap on the church.  A church without sound teaching is blind.  A church without evangelism is lame, and a church without service has no hands. 

When Christians merely sit and soak in sermons without ever serving their church, they hurt their church.  Finding your gifting and using it for the church is necessary for your own spiritual health but also for the health of the church.  Spiritual gifts are as needed as a hand, an ear, or an eye. 

Having said this, however, spiritual gifts are not the most important aspect of your life with Jesus.  In I Corinthians, Paul talks about the body and spiritual gifts and then goes on to say, “But let me show you a more excellent way” (13:1).  He then says that if you have great gifts but don’t love, you are nothing.  As necessary as the gifts are, love is more needful yet. 

In addition, when Paul gives the criteria for elders (I Tim 3 and Titus 1), most of the criteria deal with character.  And even the one criterion that deals with a skill requires only that an elder be able to teach, not that he be gifted at teaching.  Elders do not have to have the spiritual gift of teaching, but they do need to be able to explain the faith to any who need an explanation.  Thus, even with elders, spiritual gifts are not the primary qualifications the church should look for.

Biblical character is more important than spiritual gifting.   Love is more important than spiritual gifting.  Your relationship with Jesus is more important than spiritual gifting.  Righteousness and holiness are more important than spiritual gifting.  It is better to be holy than to be a gifted evangelist.  It is better to love God and neighbor than to be a gifted church planter. 

If spiritual gifts are like hands and eyes, then love, holiness, intimacy with Jesus, and righteousness are like heart and liver. 

The church may be handicapped without the spiritual gifts, but it is dead without love or holiness.  In fact, it is not a church.  Godly character and a godly heart are essential markers of genuine Christianity.  Without them the church cannot survive.  John puts it this way:

            “Little children, let no one deceive you.  He who practices righteousness is

            righteous as he is righteous.  He who practices sinning is of the devil, for the

            devil has been sinning from the beginning . . . By this it is evident who are the

            children of God and who are the children of the devil.  Whoever does not

            practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother.

            (I John 3:8,10)

You can be of God without practicing your spiritual gifts, but you cannot be of God without practicing love and righteousness.  Of course, if you are of God, you should practice your spiritual gifts.  You use them for the church as a man uses his feet to carry the body. 

We, thus, need this twofold emphasis that Paul gives in I Corinthians.  On the one side, your gifts are important and you need to use them.  On the other side, some qualities are more important still. 

Thus, spiritual gifting should be important but not the overall focus of a believer.  If you gain strong hands but lose your heart, you have made a bad trade.  The main things need to be the main things, and spiritual gifts, good as they are, are not the main things. 

Walk in holiness.  Love Jesus.  Love your brother.  If you do these things, you put the word “spiritual” into spiritual gifts.  But if you don’t do these things, you rip the word “spiritual” out of the gifts.  That was a problem Paul had to correct in Corinth.  It is a problem that some people still have today. 

A church board calls a man to be pastor because he is a gifted communicator only to find later that he is also addicted to pornography.  A ministry calls a man who is a gifted evangelist only to find later that he abuses his power. Many people emphasize gifts instead of humility.  Ability instead of prayer.  Flash instead of substance.  Corinth is alive and well today. 

Don’t let it be so with you.

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The Scandal of Love

Love came down and walked on earth.

Have you seen him?

Love was wrapped in a virgin birth.

Have you known him?

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Broken.  Dying.  Stealing.  Lying.

Corrupt and needy.  Weak and greedy.

Love came here.

———————————–

In weakness he was clothed.

Unheard of!

And took weakness as his betrothed.

Scandalous!

———————————–

Have you heard this scandal of love?

————————————

To a bleeding, fallen world

he was sent

to bleed for paupers and prisoners.

His life was spent

to rescue the sinful, selfish soul.

————————————

Have you heard the scandal of love?

————————————

The king who spoke and galaxies formed

lay in the straw that first Christmas morn.

Infinite love met finite flesh,

cried as a babe, walked to his death.

————————————-

Have you heard the scandal of love?

————————————-

“Impossible!” you say.  “Insulting! A disgrace!”

Yes.  All scandals are.

But the shame that love bore

was both mine and yours.

————————————-

The insult was for you,

the disgrace for me.

For love came to set us free.

—————————————

Perhaps this is too much.

Perhaps over this you stumble.

But perhaps love is a lion,

and perhaps love is humble.

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Dating and Romance

Your love is better than wine. (Song of Solomon 1:2)

The greatest earthly blessings are often the greatest distractions from God.  Nowhere is this statement illustrated more clearly than in the issue of romantic relationships.  Sometimes God greatly blesses a man and woman by giving them each other; and when He does, the result is wondrously beautiful.  It can be a blessing beyond description, as it has been for Leanne and me.

But it is precisely the beauty of romance that creates the distraction.  One of the most common stumbling blocks for a godly man is a girl, and one of the most common stumbling blocks for a godly woman is a guy – not because romance is bad but because it is good.  Really good.  Romantic desires for the opposite sex are natural, powerful, and delightful, but sometimes powerful desires take over, and when they do, they are no longer mere desires.  They become masters, and we their slaves. 

Sadly, I have seen this too often.  I could list many men and women who were walking with Christ and growing in Him until they met that perfect person.  Five years later, that perfect person wasn’t so perfect, but the damage was done. The relationship with Christ had usually become distant.

We, thus, have great need for Biblical direction in navigating romantic relationships, and that direction begins by discussing the inherent goodness of romance.  When God created the human race, He created male and female, He made sexual attraction and sex itself, and He invented marriage. 

Thus, this entire world of romance is something God has His fingers all over.  God loves romance.  You might say He is a romantic at heart, for God so loved the world that He pursued us with a passion that no man ever had for a woman.  And when He won our hearts, He made us His Bride.  The very gospel itself is a love story, a heavenly romance.  Because of this fact, Christians, of all people, should be given over to the praises of romance.  Earthly romance is a picture of our relationship with God.  That’s why it is so good.  The problem comes when we make it a substitute for our relationship with God, when romance drives our life, when it becomes more important than Christ Himself. 

Now in modern culture, romance and dating often go together.  Sometimes dating comes first, and romance blossoms out of that soil.  Sometimes romantic feelings come first, and they drive the desire to date.  But whichever was first, they are often a pair. 

If you talk to Christians about dating, you will find responses all over the field.  To some Christians, dating is almost a curse word, a plague upon society to be avoided like voodoo.  To others, dating is a vast improvement over the old ways in which many couples got married without knowing each another.  In reality, dating has its pros and cons, and those who praise it, major on its benefits, while those who castigate it, major on its pitfalls.  What I want to do is to talk to single people about dating and to do so with a focus on the kingdom of God.  So let’s start.

The purpose of dating is tied to marriage.  In the beginning of the relationship, the purpose is to discern if this other person is someone to marry.  Later in the relationship – for example, during an engagement period – dating can involve preparation for marriage.  But at whatever stage a dating relationship is in, marriage lies behind the purpose of what you do.  Therefore, if you want to understand dating from a Biblical standpoint, you must first understand marriage. 

Marriage takes one man and one woman and unites them as one flesh for life.  In marriage the two become one in a way that is indivisible.  In marriage, the two live in closeness and intimacy for the rest of their lives.  In marriage, the one flesh union is permanent.  In marriage, you give your life to the other person as long as you both shall live.  This is what marriage is.

The purpose of marriage is to reflect Christ and the church – His Bride.  Thus, marriage is a portrayal of something bigger than itself, and God cares about marriage deeply because He intends it to be a living portrait of the gospel.  Marriage is sacred.  Marriage is intimate.  Marriage is permanent.[1]

These are all truths you need to know when you are trying to decide if you should marry someone.  The point of dating is to discern marriage; therefore, you need to ask yourself if you could live in oneness with this other person for the rest of your life.  You need to ask yourself if you can commit, if you can joyfully give yourself to this person, not for a year or two, but for the next 75 years or more. 

Many people who mess up the dating relationship do so because they don’t understand marriage.  If you have a low view of marriage, you will have a low view of dating as well.  Others mess up the dating relationship because they divorce dating from marriage altogether, as if the point of dating is merely to have fun or to be an outlet for their sexual desires. 

So far I have talked briefly about foundational issues related to dating and romance – romance is inherently good, it reflects a deeper and more important relationship with Christ, dating is tied to marriage, and marriage is sacred, intimate, and permanent. 

In the next blog, I want to talk about some principles for dating, but these foundational issues are crucial.  They are the operating system within which we must work as we start putting some function to a dating relationship. 


[1] I have been brief in describing marriage but have written a series of blogs on it.  If you want more detail, go here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

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