We are in the midst of a series in which I address questions posed by internationals in AIF. This week’s answer is part 2 of the same question.
Q: How should Christians communicate/build relationships with others who have different beliefs?
A: The previous blog addressed issues dealing with building relationships. This blog will focus on the communication part of your question.
Communication involves two issues: what to say and how to say it. You can say the right words the wrong way and do just as much damage as if you had said the wrong words.
What Do I Say?
Let’s first address the issue of what to say. Ultimately, you want to bring the gospel, but most conversations will not be hard-core gospel conversations. You’ll talk about work and classes. You’ll talk about soccer and flowers. You’ll talk about your favorite beach or the trip your friend took last week. So talk about that stuff. Talk is part of a relationship. But when you talk, don’t hide who you are. All of these topics give you opportunity to share your faith even if technically you are not giving a gospel presentation. For example, you are talking to a friend who is concerned about an upcoming exam. Ask him if you can pray for him. Then pray. Right there. Or your friend is showing you photos of his trip to Yosemite. As you see the beauty of nature spread on the screen, give praise to the God who made it. Bring God naturally into the conversation. If you want specifics, begin by listening to your friend (see last week’s blog).
Once the conversation gets to spiritual topics, share whatever is natural for the topic. If you are talking about prayer, tell them why you pray. If you are talking about sex, give them the Biblical picture of marriage — Christ and the church. If you are talking about money, let them know that you have something better than money. These conversations are not gospel conversations in the strict sense, but they will present a Biblical worldview.
Share your story. At some point in your past, you became a Christian. What were you like before? What happened? How are you different now? Keep it short and simple. In fact, if you can’t share your story, it’s time to work on it.
Share Jesus’ story. Here are the bullets:
- God created us for a great purpose — to know Him.
- Our sin ruined everything. We can’t fulfill our purpose on our own.
- We try to achieve purpose through money, relationships, power, pleasure, etc., but our attempts bring more brokenness.
- Christ came to fix what we broke. His death and Resurrection have defeated sin. Now we can know God in Christ.
- When we trust in Christ and make Him our Lord, He restores us to our original purpose.
That’s the gospel in a nutshell. Learn it and be able to share it anywhere.
I have oversimplified for the sake of space. Every conversation is different. I have merely given you some conversational tools. They are good tools, but not every tool fits every situation. Don’t use a hammer to drive screws into a hole. To know which tool to use and when, you will need the Holy Spirit.
How Do I Say It?
With boldness (Acts 4:29). Sometimes we are so afraid we’ll offend that we never say anything spiritual. Don’t make that mistake. It is possible you will offend. The gospel is an offense (Rm 9:33; Gal 5:11; I Pet 2:8). If you do offend, let the offense come from the gospel and not from you.
With firmness (I Pet 5:12). Do not compromise the message in order to better fit your culture. If your friend says that he believes that all religions are OK, don’t agree with him or soften the gospel in order to appeal to him. The gospel brings power (Rm 1:16). Change the message, and you lose that power.
With gentleness (I Pet 3:15). Your goal is not to prove that you are right and your friends are wrong. Your goal is their soul. To get their soul, you will have to treat them with honor, respect, and gentleness. The gospel will go further when you communicate it in a manner consistent with its message.
With patience (II Pet 3:9). A child does not grow up in a day. You have to let him mature over time. The spiritual world works the same way. I know you want to see your friend enjoy the peace of Christ now, but you have to let God change him. If you move faster than God, you will be more likely to manipulate your friend’s feelings than to change his heart, but if you’ll go at God’s pace, He will change the heart. Therefore, do not expect a nonChristian to live a sexually pure life or to automatically accept everything God says. You have enough difficulty living and believing the Scriptures yourself, and you have the Holy Spirit. When you see your weakness, you will be more patient with the weaknesses of unbelievers.
With prayer (Neh 2:1-5). Last week I spoke of the importance of prayer for the relationship with your friend. Here I want to talk about the importance of prayer as you talk. You should pray as you go. As you listen to your friend, ask God what to say. As you speak, ask God to speak. In the middle of Nehemiah’s conversation with King Artaxerxes, Nehemiah shot up a prayer to God. Don’t think that because you are talking you can’t be praying.
